Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
