Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
