Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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