I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
