I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
