But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
