take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
