a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
