I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
