He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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