Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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