Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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