cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
