she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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