Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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