Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
