why didn't you poke me back
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
