Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
