YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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