hotel room ftw
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
