i used baking grease as lip gloss
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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