I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
