If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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