So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
