I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
