...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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