just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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