Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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