god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That accounts for only three of the penises
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
