she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
NoShamevember. You game?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
