That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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