I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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