she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Randomize
