He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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