Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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