Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
