I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
