He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
