New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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