so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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