i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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