pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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