i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i've created a new STD.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
