Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
