So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
