Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
