Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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