you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
