All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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