Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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