hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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